Blame It On The Pain Episode 62
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🧏 Blame It On The Pain SIXTY TWO:
Almost a week later I'm feeling much better, but since I'm just getting my appetite back, Momma says I'm still not allowed to live at my bar. Those were her words, not mine.
Jackson has been nothing but attentive and caring. He's held me through the night, brought me tissues and magazines, rubbed my feet, and brought me a hot bowl of Momma's soup every hour on the hour, even when I could only stomach a few small bites.
He never once made me feel like I was imposing on him and his life. In fact, every time I tried to go back home, he'd sic Momma on me. I learned very quickly that Momma's not a person you want to argue with because I'd be sure to lose every time.
I turn over in the bed and watch Jackson as he sleeps. The mid-morning sun is peeking in through the corner of the curtain giving me just enough light to be able to enjoy the visual of his beautifully sculpted body.
Nothing puts a damper on a couple's sx life like being sick. Needless to say, Jackson and I haven't been able to enjoy one another in that capacity.
But seeing as I'm feeling almost good as new now. I'm thinking it might be time to indulge a little.
I brush my lips against the sxy stubble grazing his jaw before making my way down his neck.
When I look up I notice that Jackson's eyes are still closed, but the boyish lopsided grin on his face tells me that he's very much awake.
I kss his chest and continue down lower. I run my to ngue along both sides of the V of his lower abs and I hear him let out a low groan.
That deep groan of his only fuels me on. When I slip my head beneath the sheet, I see just how much he's awake. I li¢k the small drop of precome that I see on the fabric of his bo xers. Deciding to tease him a little, I place my mouth over the material covering his.
I find the opening of his bo xers and flick my to ngue against it, needing to taste him.
Jackson lets out a cusse and raises his hips. I eagerly repeat the movement and he reaches down and twirls my hair around his hand before looking down at me. “Are you sure, baby? I mean, are you feeling good enough for this?”
I nod and pull his bo xers down all the way. I open my mouth, but Jackson hauls me back up and lays me across his chest.
I frown, until he cups my face in his hands and searches my eyes. “You're so beautiful it hurts sometimes, did you know that?”
My heart soars…until I think about how I must look right now. My hair is in the messiest of messy buns, my eyes are puffy, and my nose is raw from all the tissues I went through in the past week.
This is not just some smudged mascara and chapped lips. Oh, no. This is me looking like a cross between a zombie and a corpse.
I bury my head into his chest and cover my face with my hands.
“Wow, you really know how to take a compliment,” Jackson says, his voice light with humor.
“I look like I could audition for The Walking Dead right now, Jackson.”
He laughs. “Some of those zombie chicks are pretty hot.”
I take the pillow from my side of the bed and hit him with it.
He wraps me in his arms and I can feel his heart pounding rapidly against my back causing me to lean into him.
He gives my shoulder a kss. “Remind me never to tell you how beautiful you are right when you're about to wake me up with a bj again.”
I turn slightly and raise a brow. “Please, you were definitely awake.”
I fling my arms around his neck and breathe him in. “I'm in love with you, Jackson Reid. You've ruined me for anyone else.”
He rubs his nose along my jaw. “I'm in love with you. You're my first, my last and my only love, Alyssa Tanner.” He looks up at me and my heart flutters. “I want to grow old with you,” he whispers. “I want to let you win at bingo, I want you to help me find my dentures, and I want to spend the evening watching the sunset with you every night from our two rocking chairs.” He rests his head on my heart and my eyes fill with tears. “And when I die, you'll be my last thought.
When my life flashes before my eyes, I'll see nothing but you. Because you already are the very best part of my life.”
“You're mine,” I whisper. “Finding you made all the pain I've ever endured worth living through.”
I run my fingers through his hair. “We'll have those rocking chairs, Jackson. I know we will.”
He wipes the tears from my eyes. “Yeah, baby. We will. I'll find a way to make it happen.”
The end of his statement throws me off a little, but I'm soon distracted by the sound of my phone ringing.
“Hey, Shane. What's up?”
“Look, I know you're still probably sick and I know you're moving soon, but do you think you can work at the bar for a few hours tonight?”
“Of, course. It's the least I can do since you've been so cool with me being out this week. Wait a minute—” I pause, unsure if I understood him right. “What do you mean I'm moving soon? Are you kicking me out?”
Beside me, Jackson sits up in bed and puts his boxers back on.
“Kicking you out?” Shane sputters. “No. I'm talking about you moving in with Jackson, silly.”
I stare at Jackson then, the way he's avoiding my gaze and the guilty expression on his face tells me everything I need to know. “Yeah,” I respond my tone harsher than I intended. “I'll be there at seven.”
“Oh, um. Okay, great. See you then,” Shane responds before he hangs up.
I crinkle my nose and narrow my eyes. “Something you want to tell me?”
Jackson stands up and opens his arms wide. “Surprise, baby.”
I wrap the sheet around me and stand in front of him. “Yeah, I'll say. You know, couples usually discuss moving in with one another. Because both parties have to be in agreement. That's the way a relationship works.”
I open my arms wide, mocking him. “It's not supposed to be ‘surprise, baby' I've told your landlord / boss that you're moving. Especially when you haven't even discussed it with your actual girlfriend first!” I shout.
He opens his mouth but I cut him off. “I mean, did you even ask Tyrone about it? Or is he just as in the dark about all this as I am?”
Jackson holds a finger up and opens the door. “Yoo, Tyrone,” he calls out.
I stand there with my mouth open in disbelief.
“Yeah?” Tyrone shouts.
“Is it cool if Alyssa moves in with us?”
“It's cool,” Tyrone answers, before adding. “As long as she cooks every once in awhile.”
Jackson shuts the door and shrugs. “See? Everything's cool.”
I'm so frustrated I begin stomping my feet on the floor like a 2 -year-old. “And what about me? Did you ever think to ask me?”
Jackson scratches the back of his head and pouts. “Are you saying that you don't want to live with me?”
I open my mouth to answer but he walks over to me and scoops me in his arms. “I thought we just told one another exactly how we felt about each other?” He kisses my cheek. “Remember? Rocking chairs? Sunsets?” He ksses my chin. “Best part of my life?” He ksses my neck. “Great morning sx?” He moves lower to my bbs and the sheet falls. “Hot zombies?”
I roll my eyes and let out a giggle. “It's a big step, Jackson. We haven't been together long at all.”
His expression is sad and it pulls on my heartstrings. “Are you saying no?”
I think about this for a moment. I weigh the pros and cons. Pro's being- waking up next to Jackson, his apartment being in a safer area, kssing Jackson, making love to Jackson, falling asleep next to Jackson. The only con I can come up with is that it's a 20-minute walk away from my job. Unless he expects me to stop working there?
“I'm still working at Finnley's,” I tell him.
He looks hopeful. “Of course. I know you like it there. I wouldn't ever expect you to stop. Only now, I'll be walking you home every night. Well, if you want me to that is.”
“Okay,” I say.
“Okay?” he repeats. “Okay, like you'll be moving your stuff in soon? Or, okay you're an asshole and I still can't believe you sprung this on me?”
“Yes. I still hate that you sprung this on me, and I hate that it wasn't discussed and there was no ro..mantic gesture or anything, but okay I'll move in with you.”
Before I can respond he gets down on one knee. I stare at him wide-eyed. “Whoa, too soon. Way too soon!” I start. “Don't get me wrong, my gut instinct is telling me to say yes, but we can't get married right now. I need time, Jackson! Like a year or two, at least,” I begin babbling a mile a minute.
He stares at me like I'm crazy until he looks down and adjusts his position so he's kneeling down on both knees. “Relax. I wasn't asking you to marry me,” he says. “Not that I won't be asking you to do that at some point in the future,” he quickly says.”But trust me when I do, it will be way more ro..mantic.” He grins. “And it's good to know that you'll say yes.”
“So, what are you doing then?” I ask, half relieved, half nervous.
“Alyssa,” he pauses. “Sht, you never told me your middle name,” he whispers.
“Trust me. You don't want to know my middle name,” I tell him.
“Of course, I want to know your middle name. I would tell you mine but I'm sure you heard Momma shout it last week.”
I bite my bottom lip, wishing I didn't have to tell him.
Jackson stands back up. “What? It can't be that bad. Let me guess, Marie? That's a nice name, baby.”
I shake my head, not wanting to play this game.
He raises an eyebrow playfully. “Is it Gertrude? Can I call you Gerddy for short?”
“It's Ford,” I whisper.
“Huh? What the h'll does he have—”
“That's my middle name,” I say, cutting him off. “He was my dad's best friend. When they were kids they made a pact that the first one to have a son would be named after the other one. Ford doesn't have children and since I ended up being a girl, my mom chose the name Alyssa. But my dad still wanted Ford to be my middle name. I'm sorry, Jackson.”
He ksses my hand. “Don't be sorry, Alyssa. I love every part of you. Even the parts I don't always like.” He clears his throat and looks at me. “Alyssa Ford Tanner, would you do me the honor of moving in with me?”
“And Tyrone!” Tyrone shouts from the other side of the door.
“And Tyrone,” he amends.
My face hurts from smiling so hard. “Yes. I would love to,” I say.
I hear Momma and Tyrone cheer from the other side of the door and I can't help but laugh with them. Jackson pulls me into another hug, but I don't miss the strange expression on his face.
“What?” I ask.
He appears to be lost in deep thought before saying, “Your dad really trusted Ford, didn't he?”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “Ford's an asshole when it comes to the way he treats women. But that aside, my dad trusted him with his life.”
Jackson nods before kissing my forehead. “I'm gonna take a shower.”
“Want some company?”
He doesn't respond but he pulls me in for a kss that answers my question.
TO Be Continued